Five Beautiful Blessings Between Heaven & Earth

Today is Memorial day, It's the first Memorial day that we have actually had someone to go visit in the cemetery. I bought a daisy spray with bright colored daisy's to put on Colette's headstone. I actually put it up Thursday night when Jen and I walked up to visit her. We called Mom and Dad and they walked up to the cemetery with us. Aaron rode his new bike (we got new bikes for both the kids on Sat at Toys'Rus Aaron's was to small and Bridgett's was broken. ) Mom and Dad were walking a little ahead of us and they walked right past Colette because she had so many flowers all over her headstone. I think that the Grandma's on Dusty's side of the family had been busy! We stood at the Cemetery and listened to the band play the music for the memorial and chatted. It was a pretty good day. The rest of it was pretty mellow. All of us were still feeling a little bit crummy so we just took it easy.

Today is the last day of school for Aaron, I can't believe that my first born baby is getting so big! It's like it happened over night. We got up early and walked him to school since the whole school was going to be there from 8:-9:30 instead of on two different tracks, so we knew that dropping him off would be a nightmare! After we dropped him off we walked home and let Bridgett run around for 20 mins and then it was time to start walking to pick up Aaron again. So Back into the stroller we went and got to the school right before the last bell rang. We got home long enough for Aaron to go potty, and grab his bike and we met a friend at the corner to walk down to the cemetery to show them Colette's headstone. Aaron had a great time riding his bike and playing with their son. we walked around the cemetery enjoying the things that people have placed for memorial day. We then walked home, gave the children a quick lunch and dropped Bridgett off at Mom's. (She ...

Today is Thursday and bad day would be an understatement. I'm tired, I'm angry, and I don't know why, I'm grumpy and felling very bad for my children. I hate it when I'm not patient. I hate yelling at my children and for the most part I hardly ever have to, but today was one of those days where all I feel like I've done is yell. We went outside to mow the lawn and let the kids ride their bikes, I figured that a little outside time would help but I was wrong. After not long of riding bikes Bridgett's Bike wheel broke and so then she is crying her eyes out because her new love is riding bikes and now she can't. We finally got the lawn mowed with lots of tears trailing behind me, not all of them Bridgett's. I did have lunch at Apple bee's with Lynn and Jody, of course my first thought was after the bad day I had was to have something majorly unhealthy with fries of course, but I resisted and had the garlic herb chicken. (by the way i...

Tonight was the Enrichment activity with making baby blankets. And I could not be happier, I was surprised at how many people showed up! It helps me to know that even though it has been 4 months People still remember Colette and know that my life has not just gone back to normal. I'm so glad that I spent most of monday and tues cutting out fabric to get them all ready to go, Cutting takes the longest time and if I had waiting till the activity to start we would not have gotten nearly as much done. We had lots of people come, lots of people brought fabric, sewing machines, irons and lots of helping hands. One friend brought butterfly buttons and sewed one onto a corner of each of the bigger blankets. It was a darling touch. All in all it was a great night. We finished about 20 blankets and have about another 15-20 in several different stages, so I could not be happier! The rest I will finish in here and there like I do all my blankets, on the days when I'm fee...

Today Colette would have been 4 months old. Such a fun age, no longer a new born and almost mobile. At least if she was like my other two she would be. Rolling all over the place, bouncing in her saucer while she watchers everything around her. I wonder what her smile would look like, what her giggle would sound like. Would her hair have stayed dark like like mine like it was when she was born or would it have gone blond like Aaron and Bridgett? It was kind of a hard day. It does not help that we woke up to several inches of SNOW! yes snow! and it kept snowing most of the morning. And I'm not talking about a flake here or there but it actually stuck to the ground. Since when do we get snow at the end of May in Utah? A little sun would have been nice. I spent most of the day cutting out fabric for the enrichment activity tomorrow night. We are making blankets to donate to the bereavement counselors at AF hospital, for anyone else who looses a baby weather it's mi...

This is my two year old riding on a scooter like she was born with it! What am I going to do with her? It seems like just yesterday we were bringing her home from the hospital. Now she's zipping around the yard on a scooter! Of course we have to lower the handle bars almost all the way down but she loves it! It's like she has found a new form of freedom. Poor Aaron dose not get to ride his scooter anymore, We may have to go to the store and get TWO scooters. I just can't believe how big my two oldest children are getting. I'm trying to enjoy my new found freedom, but it's hard. I'm trying to enjoy that my children don't need me as much and are starting to do things for themselves, but it's hard to go from expecting to start all over again with a new baby to not....

Bridgett learned a new word today. No despite what you would think, it was not a cuss word. It was "snake" she also learned that its appropriate and perfectly ok for one to scream after seeing this new word. Bridgett and I spent the afternoon while Aaron was at school working out in the yard. The last thing on the list was to mow the lawn so I got out the lawn mower and started it up and began mowing the back lawn. Imagine my surprise when something slithered out from under my feet and proceeded to watch me with it's little beady eyes from the dirt. Needless to say I was very startled and then a little perturbed that it was content to just STAY in our yard! I grabbed Bridgett and ran into the house to call dusty and see what he suggest I do. In tears I explained that we had a "visitor" and it would not go away and I didn't like it! He thought it was quite funny, he told me to chuck a few rocks at it to see if I could not get it to move on. So I ...

While we were at Zion's National Park we hiked the Emerald Pools Trail. There are 3 Emerald Pools and to hike to, a lower a middle and an upper. Dusty and I had a great time hiking to all 3 pools and if your even in Zions we would highly suggest that you give it a try! Above is a photo of the actual trail loop, We started out at the Bus went to the Lower pools first and then followed around to the upper pools and then back down and to the middle pools and then around and back down to the bus.

Last weekend Dusty and I dropped off the kids at Grandma and Grandpa's house and drove to St George to celebrate our 8 year anniversary. And despite all the photos that Dusty took of me while eating, We did NOT eat all weekend! We went to Zion's on Sat and did several hikes, It was a lot of fun and beautiful scenery. lost of waterfalls aren't they beautiful? Happy 8 years of Marriage Dusty! I love you! and I'm so happy to be married to you On the way home we drove through Snow Canyon it was beautiful! Next time we come down to St George we will have to do a few hikes in there as well. All and all we had a great time, and not only was it nice to get away but I was grateful to have gotten away on Mother's day, I just don't think I could do Mother's day at Chruch this year. It just means something different to me this year (and probably from now on) then it used to. Right now it's just another painful reminder that while I know Colette is where...

I am your mother, but you, my child, I cannot hold. It'll get easier with time, or so I'm told. People may forget that I am your mother. I'm part of a secret club we only share with one another. But that doesn't diminsh my love for you. I think of you the whole day through. I wonder what you're doing, my Precious Little One. We are connected by an Infinite bond which cannot come undone. I will not let death tear us apart. I promise to always keep you alive in my heart.

I was finishing up the dishes tonight when I paused to check on the kids, to my delight this is what I found. Them snuggled up on the couch together watching a show, I grabbed my camera and tip toed downstairs to grab a quick photos. Of course once they knew I was sneaking around with the camera THIS is what I got! Silly children of mine. Heaven Forbid we have proof that they are good friends and actually like each other!

This morning Bridgett was snuggled next to me in bed watching an early morning show. (it's the only time she will snuggle I have to take advantage of it!) "Bridgett?" She looks at me with one eye, the other still watching her show. "Wat?" "Bridgett can mommy have a kiss please?" long pause. "No I otay" Chuckles from the other side of the bed I have to tell you my children do NOT give kisses. If you get a kiss from either of them consider yourself very luck and remember that moment because the chances of it happening again is slim to none. I got so excited when 2 months ago Bridgett discovered "Boo Boo's" It's the only time I'm allowed to kiss my little girl, is when she has a boo boo. OK so I admit that I steal one every so often, after all I'm the mommy I should be so allowed! But It's a lot of work to get past the flailing arms and legs to plant a tiny peck on a cheek only to have it rubbed off in dis...