Infant Loss Awarenss Month

Did you know that Oct is Infant Loss Awareness Month?  No?  It's ok I never did either,  until we lost our own Infant.  I think it's one of those things that you don't think about much.  Oh sure you hear those awful stories about families that have lost infants,  or toddlers.  You've read their stories on their blogs and you've shed tears for them.  You think "oh my goodness I don't know how they survived that they must be so strong.  but that will never happen to us."  Then you close your computer and go on about your day.  At last that is what I always did and then one day it happened to us.  You know, that thing that only happens to other people?  On January 24th 2010 Our  3rd child Colette Eliza was born into our family.  It was an uneventful pregnancy with no signs that anything was out of the ordinary.  Certainly no sign or warning that we would do anything other than take home another beautiful baby to love and to care for.  When Colette was born she took one breath on her own and then her heart stopped beating and she stopped breathing.  She was a fighter and she was strong.  For 5 hours and 23 min she fought to live.  But living was not Heavenly Father's plan for her.

We had always been blessed with our pregnancies never had any miscarriages,  never any still births,  I never knew you could be pregnant and NOT go home with a baby.  Until now.  Now I know many things that I didn't before.  I look at mom's in the grocery store totting around new babies and I think 'I wonder if they know how lucky they are.  Perhaps they don't,  I know that until now I never knew how lucky I was to bring home Aaron and Bridgett.  But I do now.  The truth is things don't always go the way we plan them to.  Babies do die,  there are things in this life that we can't control.  Letting go of Colette in this life is the hardest thing that Heavenly Father has ask me to do.  My Children are my life my everything.  How grateful I am for the knowledge of the gospel and the peace that it brings.  It does not end the pain, but knowing where Colette is,  that she is safe and loved and a part of our family forever brings such peace to my soul!

But I have strayed from my original reason for this post.  On Oct 15th in support of those of us who have lost infants or miscarried or had a still birth we are inviting everyone to light a candle, at 7 pm your time and to leave it lit for an hour.  The purpose is to have a wave of light across the country in memory of our babies.   Will you join us?  Sometimes the best medication for a broken heart is knowing that we are not alone.  That people remember and miss our babies as much as we do.   While everyone's lives have gone on,  ours have not.  This is something that changes you  and your life forever.  It helps to know that others still remember and know that our hearts are still broken and our arms are still empty.  So please on Oct 15th at 7:00 pm  strike a match and light a candle and join us in remembering "what was.... and what one day will be again."

We love you Colette and we miss you desperately!