9 months ago today.
Not only is today the 9 month mark since Colette joined our family but it is also the first time that the 24th has fallen on a Sunday since the day she was born. In some ways I can't believe that it has been nine months, time seems to have dragged slowly on, I can't believe that it's Oct and almost November! I'm not sure how were going to get through the Holidays without out our beautiful baby.
I look back on the first month after she passed away and I have to admit that things are slowly getting better, but I think that the pain never really goes away. I think you just get used to living with the pain.
There are still times were I feel picked on. Where I feel like everyone gets to go home with their baby but us. But I know that what happened was exactly what would have happened no matter what family Colette was born into and I'm just grateful that she is born into our. I can't say that I wish that it never happened because if it never happened she would never be ours. And now she is.
We talk about her all the time, we look at her pictures all the time, we cry for her all the time. And we all look forward to the day that we can be together as a family again.
Today Aaron has a Part in the primary program. I'm excited to watch him say his line. He's been saying it over and over again for the last 3 weeks. But I'm sure as I sit and watch him do his part that the tears will flow and I"ll be reminded that this is one more thing that I'll never be able to watch Colette do in this life. You would think after 9 months that I wold have though of all the things that she and I will never be able to do together but ever few days something else hits me and the grieving process starts over again. We love you Colette and we miss you so much! You are and will always be a part of our family forever!
Now on a HAPPIER NOTE!
Yesterday I was able to go to the Salt Lake Temple and watch as my cousin and her husband and their little one were sealed together for time and all eternity. What a beautiful thing to be a part of! It was a little hard to watch their daughter who is only 4 months older than what Colette would be but she is beautiful and I'm grateful that they have her, It was a good reminder that one day I'll have what they have with Colette. I just have to be patient
Congratulations Aimilee and Sean! I am so happy for your little family :) (I'm posting some of their photos so that her family who could not be there can see)
I look back on the first month after she passed away and I have to admit that things are slowly getting better, but I think that the pain never really goes away. I think you just get used to living with the pain.
There are still times were I feel picked on. Where I feel like everyone gets to go home with their baby but us. But I know that what happened was exactly what would have happened no matter what family Colette was born into and I'm just grateful that she is born into our. I can't say that I wish that it never happened because if it never happened she would never be ours. And now she is.
We talk about her all the time, we look at her pictures all the time, we cry for her all the time. And we all look forward to the day that we can be together as a family again.
Today Aaron has a Part in the primary program. I'm excited to watch him say his line. He's been saying it over and over again for the last 3 weeks. But I'm sure as I sit and watch him do his part that the tears will flow and I"ll be reminded that this is one more thing that I'll never be able to watch Colette do in this life. You would think after 9 months that I wold have though of all the things that she and I will never be able to do together but ever few days something else hits me and the grieving process starts over again. We love you Colette and we miss you so much! You are and will always be a part of our family forever!
Now on a HAPPIER NOTE!
Yesterday I was able to go to the Salt Lake Temple and watch as my cousin and her husband and their little one were sealed together for time and all eternity. What a beautiful thing to be a part of! It was a little hard to watch their daughter who is only 4 months older than what Colette would be but she is beautiful and I'm grateful that they have her, It was a good reminder that one day I'll have what they have with Colette. I just have to be patient
Congratulations Aimilee and Sean! I am so happy for your little family :) (I'm posting some of their photos so that her family who could not be there can see)
Colette will always be in our hearts. Thank you greatly for taking wonderful pictures! I'm glad we'll always be able to look back at that day.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your sweet insights Julia! I've been thinking about you lately and hope you know that you are a constant in my prayers. Thanks for all the wonderful good things you bring to this life for so many people! You have and continue to touch my heart!
ReplyDeleteLittle Colette is so proud of all of you. You are doing great, and handling things well. The first major holidays are not easy, but when you have the new perspective that we have, it makes you view the holidays so differently. I won't lie, it stings...but Colette and Heavenly Father will be there helping you through it. Love ya sweet girl!
ReplyDeleteYou got some beautiful shots of that special day - I saw them on Aimilee's blog and it was really nice to feel like we were there.
ReplyDeleteI think about you and your sweet baby girl all the time. I love your perspective on your loss, and that she IS yours forever! Colette is lucky to be the daughter of such a wise mother.
Sending some love to your family from ours!